Falling & Uprising Page 9

  “Do you ever wonder if there is something else beyond the sea?” I pose the question with as much innocence as possible. Adwin looks at me curiously, though not like I’ve dropped a bomb, which is how I feel.

  “Don’t be silly.”

  I could let it drop, forget about telling him. Leave the question as a fleeting thought of whimsy.

  “Are you all right?” he asks. “You’re so tense.”

  But he pays attention. And tonight, I want him to dig deeper for my secrets.

  “There is more,” I say, staring over the horizon. Then my words come out too fast. “There are more islands they don’t tell us about. People slaving away to provide us with all of this. They hide it all from us. This is all a lie.”

  He looks more confused than shocked. His eyes search my face for answers to questions he doesn’t ask. “Come here, love.” He wraps me in a hug. I’m sure he doesn’t believe me. He must think I’ve lost my mind. “Who told you that?”

  “Sophos. He needs help in City Planning.”

  “Help for what?”

  This is not a test. This is not a test. “To take down the Establishment.” Please pass the test.

  He jerks back, holding my shoulders. “What?” His eyes narrow.

  Please, please, please. “We have to stop this system. It robs seventy percent of the people just to spoil the other thirty.”

  “And then what do you intend to do with those of us in this thirty percent?”

  Wait. In my panic, I missed it. It’s not that he doesn’t believe me—he’s only surprised that I know. He understands it too well, and I’ve hardly explained it. “Did you already know all of this?” It’s more of an accusation than a question.

  He drops his hands. Anger melts from his face, and his eyes search for a response.

  “You did.” My whisper is faint as the breeze. “How?”

  He takes a breath, and I wonder if he is debating telling me the truth or thinking of a lie. I’ve never thought that about him before, but now…

  “My grandfather is the lieutenant governor.”

  “Agnar is your—” My hands fly to my mouth as I gasp. What have I done? Adwin was the single worst choice I could have made for a confidant. “How could I not know that?”

  “My mother disowned him. I didn’t even meet him until I turned sixteen, and then I didn’t want the spotlight of being his relative. Not yet.”

  I bury my face in my hands. My head spins. Lying to him for a few months destroyed me, but he’s been lying to me all along.

  “Serenity, you can still get out of this.” He clasps my shoulders again. His touch is foreign now. “I can get you out of this. Things can go back to the way they were.”

  Confusion evolves into anger, boiling up in me. “I don’t want things to go back to the way they were.”

  “This rebellion you’ve gotten mixed in with would destroy the lives of everyone we know. Why are you doing this?”

  “Because it’s the right thing to do,” I say as I twist myself out of his grasp.

  “No. It’s not. You don’t understand—”

  “I understand it hasn’t only been the Establishment that’s been lying to me, Adwin! You can keep your lies and indifference; I’ll be on the side that will blow that all up.”

  That triggers a shift in him. “Why would they need you? You are a poster child for Kaycian indulgence, and even if you were deceived into having a desire to change it all, you’re powerless to do so.”

  My chest feels ready to implode. Adwin is another part of the lie I fell for. The rest of the lies were about things I hadn’t thought about, but I was sure I knew Adwin. Was he another moth drawn to my flame? The worst part should be that he doesn’t mind living off other people’s sufferings, but his notion that I’m too weak to do anything, his disbelief that anyone could think I’d be useful, crushes me.

  As tears roll down my cheeks, he turns his back to me and starts back toward the elevator.

  “Where are you going?”

  “I don’t know. I can’t believe you would conspire against everyone like this.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  “I don’t know, Serenity!”

  “Wait!” I reach into my pocket and grab the vial. I lunge toward him, extend the syringe, and sob as I plunge it into his neck. The empty vial clatters on the floor as I collapse and rock on my hands—hyperventilating. When I look up, Adwin looks dazed and confused.

  My shoulders shudder as I take in a breath and stand to look him in the eyes. “You broke up with me. You’re not going to call me or send me any messages. We’re done.”

  My hands are steady as I take off my necklace and drop it in his jacket pocket. I leave Adwin to pull himself together. My descent isn’t only from the roof—I’m leaving behind the last shard of my fantasy world. It’s all crushed to dust now.

  Chapter Sixteen

  SERENITY

  Dabbing my eyes isn’t going to be enough. I need to leave quickly. On my way out of the gala, I see Jase. A combination of relief, embarrassment, and the need to surrender swirls through me. He’s the only person I can actually talk to about this. I didn’t want to need him, but at the moment, I do. When his eyes meet mine, his face colors with concern. Oh God, how disastrous do I look? I make my way toward him, trying to put on my best face, but I’m stopped.

  “Serenity, there you—” Vogue stops short when she gets a good look at my face. “What’s wrong?” She takes my hand in hers.

  “I need to leave.” I pull my hand back, but Vogue comes right along with it.

  “All right, wait for me then.”

  She loops my arm through hers and leaves without a word to the people she had been speaking with. Jase shoots me a questioning look as I pass by him, and I mouth, ‘It’s done.’

  Out on the quiet street, Vogue’s eyes bore into mine. “What happened?”

  “Adwin and I broke up.” I lean onto the wall with one hand, and she wraps her arms around me in an embrace. How did this night get so far off track?

  “Oh, Serenity. I’m so sorry. Let’s get you out of here. I’ll let your mother know you’re staying with me tonight.”

  I follow along. My ability to make decisions is exhausted.

  ***

  Vogue gives me cozy pajamas to change into. While I do so, I volley messages.

  Jase: Are you okay?

  Me: I did what I had to.

  Jase: But are you okay?

  Me: I’ll be fine. Can I call you tomorrow?

  Jase: Of course. Goodnight.

  When I shuffle out of the bathroom, I find Vogue in loose, purple pajama pants and a camisole. Her hair is piled up onto her head in a messy knot. She’s stunning even when she isn’t done up, but it’s an honor that I’m the only person who gets to see her like this. She offers me a glass of wine. I take it, but after the couple of drinks I had at the gala, I’m setting myself up for a headache tomorrow.

  “Snacks?”

  Vogue’s eyes brighten. “Absolutely!”

  Ten minutes later, we have a disjointed picnic on her bedroom floor: a pizza, miniature cheeseburgers, pretzel sticks with cheese fondue, tacos, and doughnuts. I lie on my stomach with my head propped up on my hands. Vogue sits cross-legged adjacent to me.

  “So, what happened?” Pizza muffles her voice.

  “He broke up with me. I don’t know.”

  “That’s ridiculous. Adwin adores you.”

  “Maybe some version of me. I don’t think I’m living up to his expectations anymore.”

  “What expectations could anyone have that you wouldn’t meet?”

  “Well, if he wanted a meek, silly little girl, then I’m a huge disappointment now.”

  “You’ve never been meek, and you haven’t been silly, at least since you turned twelve.” Her smile warms me. “What’s changed now?”

  “Maybe me being at the EC every day has made it real.” For him and me both.

  I’m dancing too close to the edge
of the truth. I shouldn’t have come here. I should have told Vogue I couldn’t talk tonight and gone to Jase instead. The truth dances on my tongue, begging to be let loose. The more I think about not saying any more, the more I want to. The liquid courage in my veins isn’t helping matters.

  “Vogue…” I give up control over my mouth and tell her everything: the islands, the marshals, the uprising, and she is taking it much better than I did. Maybe instead of tea, Sophos should have alcohol for those meetings.

  “I can’t believe I told you any of that,” I say, finally. “I am so sorry.”

  Is it minutes or hours before she speaks again? I can’t tell, and I can’t look at her. I do manage to hold back the part about placement being a bit of a hoax. I’d hate to cause a rift between her and her grandmother. When I look up, she’s got her legs up on the wall at a ninety-degree angle from her body.

  “What are you—”

  “Increases blood flow to the brain,” she says. She rolls to the side and sits up slowly. “Specifically, are you sorry you didn’t tell me sooner, or that the person you decided you had to tell was Adwin instead of me?”

  “What?”

  “You could have come to me sooner. It must have been killing you to bottle all of this up.”

  “Umm, I blew up your whole reality, and you’re concerned that I’m having a hard time? Your tranquility is making me think I’ve been overreacting.”

  “It’s a lot to take.” Her eyes widen as she nods. “But at least I got to hear it from you. You had to hear it from strangers. You didn’t even know if you could trust them, and you couldn’t open up to them about how you felt about any of it. That had to be much more difficult. I’m sorry you felt like you had to deal with this alone. I’d prefer to share your load.”

  “That’s how I expected Adwin to feel.” Did I expect it, or was it false hope? It doesn’t matter anymore.

  “Unfortunately, Adwin is an imbecile. If he only loved you because you were just a pretty face and weren’t a challenge to him, he never deserved you. He doesn’t think you aren’t strong enough to do this. Your strength intimidates him. He looks weak by comparison.”

  “Plus, he’s a total egotist with no conscience.”

  Her smile is so genuine it makes me smile despite myself.

  “I’ve been such an absentee friend to you lately,” I say. “Thank you for still being such a good friend to me.”

  “I was MIA too. We don’t have to talk every day to maintain this, though. Our friendship is as easy as breathing. I don’t have to think about it; I love you.”

  “I love you too,” I say, laying my head in her lap.

  She combs my hair with her fingers. “So, what are we going to do about all of this?”

  “What?”

  “You don’t think I can know about this and not do anything to help, do you?”

  Maybe in a roundabout way, I got what Jase has. I’m on the same team as someone I love.

  Chapter Seventeen

  BRAM

  “You did what?” It’s all I can do to keep from yelling the words.

  “She’s in technology, which we need allies in.” Serenity is going to have an uphill battle to explain this away. “Sophos, if you can get her moved into a position here, she’ll be invaluable.”

  This Friday’s meeting has taken an unusual turn, and what a time for Tori to be here. Her expectations of Serenity weren’t high coming in, and she’s kind of being proven right.

  She stops her agitated pacing and glowers at Serenity from the corner. “What would have happened if her response was to call Security?”

  “I had an amnesia shot with me as backup.”

  “How did you have—”

  Serenity cuts me off. “I’m friends with Jase Delgado.”

  Sophos’ health department agent? I turn to Sophos, who is somehow not surprised, but pretty annoyed by the look of it. “So I heard. How long have the two of you been friends?”

  “Oh, years.” Her expression is as perfect as it was the first day she walked through this door.

  “What a funny coincidence.” Sophos doesn’t look like he’s buying this. “How did you happen to figure out that you were both involved in this?”

  “He noticed that I had been a little reserved, and he knows you’re my mentor.” Serenity is the definition of her own name, cool and calm as a pool of water. “He asked me. Of course, he had an amnesia shot handy in case he was wrong.”

  Rage rolls off Tori as she taps her heel. “How did any of that lead to the girl in technology being brought on board?”

  “I was jealous of Jase and Krisalyn. Then I broke up with my boyfriend, and I needed Vogue.” She shifts from vulnerable into a pointed look at Sophos. “Perhaps if I had been allowed to know who else was on this team before, I would have been content.”

  Tori’s face reddens under her makeup. “This isn’t a social club!”

  “Serenity, you cannot be careless with this information,” Sophos says. “What you did was reckless, and though it did not have dire consequences this time, you cannot have another indiscretion like that.”

  She drops her head and speaks to her knees. “It won’t happen again.”

  “I have to be able to trust you,” Sophos says.

  “There is no reason for it to happen again.”

  “Let’s hope so.” I lean on the desk, standing over her. “You put us all in danger, you know that?”

  “Maybe if you keep harping on it, I’ll get the point.”

  “That is enough, Bram. We need to move on. Serenity, I will work on getting Miss Taylor moved into the technology department here, and in the meantime, perhaps you should consider moving out of your parents’ home. They are the next people closest to you, and I don’t want to go through this again. And since I don’t know if Vogue understands the word confidential any better than you do, it would be more secure if she lived with you.”

  “All right.”

  “See what you did?” I say. “Now your poor friend has to live with you.”

  Serenity squeezes her lips together, but a smile peeks through. I guess we’ll be better off being civil.

  “If we can get back to business…” Tori crosses her arms as she sits down.

  “Yes, please,” Sophos says. “The mayors of the islands are all informed now. They have patchy communication between each other and with me, and they are beginning to gather support.”

  “It shouldn’t be difficult, right?” Serenity asks. “Wouldn’t all of the islanders want to overthrow the Establishment?”

  “Not necessarily,” I answer. “No one on the islands would realize how bad life is unless they saw the disparity between themselves and Kaycie.”

  “Precisely,” Sophos says. “They aren’t aware of the system’s injustice because they only know one side of it.”

  “And when they’re all on board, what happens?” Tori asks.

  “We block off the tunnels from Kaycie to the islands,” Sophos says. “The tunnels’ layout will allow us to cut off Kaycie and Leavenworth, leaving the islands connected to one another. The islanders can then relieve the marshals and Kaycian managers of control without the Establishment being able to send in reinforcements. The islands are the source of the Establishment’s power. Without the islands, they can’t provide for Kaycie, and the system crumbles.”

  Tori presses a fingertip between her eyebrows. “The islanders would have to be exceptionally well armed to keep the marshals from containing an attack. If it’s between eleven PM and six AM, there will be somewhat better odds because fewer marshals will be active at that time, but they won’t take long to assemble, so it doesn’t create a meaningful advantage.

  “If they can’t contain the mob, they’ll retreat into their Establishment Centers. The marshals will protect each island’s Establishment Center above all else to keep the train stations secure. If the islanders can’t get into the buildings, they’ll hole up until reinforcements arrive.”

  “Rein
forcements won’t be able to come, though,” I say.

  Tori shrugs. “Then they’ll hunker down indefinitely.”

  “And when the islanders break-in?” Sophos asks.

  She sighs. “We hope the Kaycian managers don’t keep the marshals fighting to the last man.”

  The color drains from Serenity’s face, and her eyes widen as they scan us. I rub my forehead, trying to push out the knowledge that the marshals are islanders. The only way to get to the Establishment is to take down our own people first, and it could include Emrys. Even victory would be a loss.

  “Some of them will surrender faster than others,” Sophos says. “There are weak and cowardly managers among them. Some islands will have a harder time, though.”

  “Once any island is successful,” Tori says, “if they can send reinforcements to get in behind the marshals at another island from the train stations, that would turn the tables.”

  “What will happen here when the islands rise up?” Serenity asks.

  Tori waves a hand dismissively. “Not much at first. The fearless leaders will abandon everyone here, and the citizens will wait to find out what the new world order is.”

  “Abandon the city?”

  “Oh, they’re jumping ship and taking their army with them when things get tough. You didn’t know?” Tori seems to take pleasure in upsetting Serenity. Seeing someone else do it makes me feel guilty that I used to too.

  Serenity’s eyes bulge. “What?”

  Sophos tries to make it sound a little better. “Everyone here will be fine. There are enough stores of supplies in the city to hold people over until we can establish a new system.”

  She doesn’t look convinced.

  “It won’t come easily,” Sophos says. “But we have to have faith that the destination will be worth the journey.”

  ***

  Sophos walks out with Serenity on his way to a meeting. Tori hangs behind—to lecture me, I guess.

  “Don’t say it.” I try to block her attack.

  “What? That the Kaycian princess is more of a liability than an asset?”