Falling & Uprising Read online

  “Why?” I shift my gaze between the two of them, trying to discern their connection.

  “I am gathering support,” Sophos says. “For an uprising.”

  Chapter Six

  SERENITY

  Sophos probably regrets telling me to ‘take my time’ to process this. I’ve walked a mile, pacing back and forth across the office. I can’t make sense of it. What am I supposed to say to this? My eyes keep finding the door. How far would I get if I made a run for it? No doubt Bram won’t let me walk out of here with this information. Sophos already said my memory of this could be wiped out. I suppose that’s why he can confidently say all of this to me.

  What would I even do if I could get away? If everything Sophos has told me is true, then I agree with the idea of deposing the Establishment. Can I really trust all of it, though? How on earth would I verify any of this information?

  A low buzz catches my attention; I snap my head around and see a plated sandwich on the coffee table in front of Bram. “Have you worked up an appetite?” he asks with no attempt to mask his irritation.

  “How can you even think about food?”

  “I’ve known about this for years. If I had stopped eating, I’d be dead.” He takes a bite of the sandwich.

  “Serenity, it would probably do you good to eat as well,” Sophos says, tapping on the screen next to him.

  “I don’t need to eat.” The words crack like a whip. “I need to understand if this is all the most distasteful joke in history or if you are mad.”

  “Well, it’s certainly no joke,” Sophos says. “All revolutionary schemes have a hint of madness, so I suppose you could go with that. Please sit down.”

  I take a deep breath and return to my chair. “Okay. You want to overthrow the Establishment. Fine. But I don’t understand why you need me.”

  “I agree with her on that point,” Bram says. “She doesn’t seem particularly useful to me.”

  What problem can he have with me? Concern over everyone’s opinions is ingrained into me, but I push it down as best I can. There are graver issues.

  “It’s fortunate that you are undercover and can’t speak in most circumstances.” Sophos rubs his temples. Bram’s eyebrows pop up with a dismissive smirk.

  A dish rises out of the table displaying crab puffs, soft rolls, stuffed cherry tomatoes, and chocolate truffles. Sophos gestures to me, and I begrudgingly pick up a roll and nibble on it.

  “Serenity,” Sophos says, “we can’t affect the kind of change necessary without people on board. I can’t do it by myself.

  “Bram mentioned Tori Foster, who works in Security. We also have allies in the Department of Health, Technology, and some on the islands, but I haven’t found anyone in City Planning. That’s why I’m looking to put you there.”

  “But why me?”

  “Your placement testing identified the characteristics we need. You are intelligent, but not so much that you become unfashionable. You are compassionate, and you have a taste for appearances.”

  “What?”

  Bram translates. “You’re smart, but not nerdy, you care about people, and you supposedly care about putting on a good show. Though this behind the scenes preview isn’t exactly impressive.” He pops a truffle into his mouth.

  I glower at him before shaking my head and turning back to Sophos. The addition of a heckler does wonders to improve this already pleasant conversation.

  “If the characteristics you need are the same as those that placed me in Leadership,” I say, “how is it that all of the leaders are content to continue the system the way it is? The profile for a rebel can’t be the same as that of an Establishment leader.”

  “Placement is nonsense,” Sophos says. “The Establishment is concerned with making sure they get good people for technology and the health department, and a handful for Leadership to cover the highest levels, but most people could be shuffled up and thrown anywhere for all they care. Your results could have put you in Performing Arts, Education, Fashion, or Leadership, but Adelle placed you in the Leadership program.”

  “Adelle Nemes?”

  “Yes, my predecessor,” he replies. “The software can place children on its own, but the director has to determine the placement for anyone who’s potential includes Leadership.”

  I tap my fingers on the back of my other hand. “But it’s supposed to be an intuitive and perfect system that finds everyone their one perfect spot. Not someone picking at random!”

  “Why would that be any better?” Bram’s eyebrows pull together. “A computer choosing your life for you, a stranger choosing it, what’s the difference? Shouldn’t you be angry you didn’t get to choose for yourself?”

  Why would I be angry about taking the guesswork out of planning my life? Innovation is all about making our lives easier. Placement fosters the peace we enjoy.

  “Is Adelle part of this? Did she put me in the Leadership program so I could be part of an uprising?” I can’t imagine her being involved in this. Her family and mine have been close my whole life. Did I get placed due to nepotism? This isn’t much of a favor to get from her.

  “Not exactly,” Sophos says. “She also wants to see change occur, and I’m sure she thought you would make positive changes. I agree with that. Rather than wait until you grow into a council position, though, I think you can make changes more rapidly with me. It’s been a challenge to find people who understand the gravity of the situation. Previous candidates have all failed.”

  “What happened to those candidates?”

  “Some wouldn’t believe it, others found it too distressing to function under the weight of the knowledge, and some saw no problem with the system at all. Placement testing is helpful, but it can’t predict how a person will respond to something this difficult, on a moral and emotional level.”

  “What happened to them?” I ask him again.

  “I erased their memories of our conversations and let them continue with life as usual,” he answers.

  “Is that what you’ll do to me if I don’t agree to join your uprising?”

  “Of course,” Sophos says.

  Earlier, it was an offer I could choose, but Sophos would do that against my will if it came to it. There isn’t anything about my life the Establishment hasn’t been willing to tamper with, so this shouldn’t be a surprise. I wonder how badly he needs me? Do I have any leverage to negotiate with?

  “If I agree to help you, I’d like my parents to know about it. They would agree with you, and they are very influential—”

  “Absolutely not.” The sharpness catches me off guard. Sophos softens as he continues, though. “Your parents’ prominence can’t do anything to help us at this time. Eventually, yes, but not now. Plus, you wouldn’t want to put them at risk, would you?”

  It’s only the last argument that cracks my determination to get my wish. Of course, I don’t want to put them in danger. It’s bad enough that I’m in this position. I can’t extend this out to them.

  “I’m not here to force you into anything you are uncomfortable with,” Sophos says. “There is a way out for you.”

  I could go back to the world I knew two days ago—the happy, uncomplicated world. I wouldn’t have to lie to anyone. I could speak to my family and friends without feeling an insurmountable chasm between us. I could look out at the sea without feeling like I’ll collapse.

  But it wouldn’t be real. I wouldn’t know that I guess, but when ignorance was forced on me, that was one thing. Can I choose to be so ignorant? I’d be taking the guilt on myself when it belongs to the people who decided to lie to me all my life. They are guilty. And I don’t want to forget that. Even if I have to be alone.

  “No,” I say. “I know it now. There is no going back.”

  “Thank you for being brave enough to make that choice.” Sophos’ smile is triumphant.

  I’ve never been described as brave before.

  “And besides,” Bram says, “everyone is going to find out soon enough.
At least this way, you understand it before all hell breaks loose, pup.”

  “Pup?” Do I even want to know?

  “You are basically a puppy.”

  “How might that be?”

  “You’re fed and pampered and primped, and when you get angry, you try to look aggressive, but you’re too cute to pull it off, so it ends up being funny.”

  How dare you! “Puppies have sharp teeth.” My own teeth are clenched, and my blood boils. “Anyway, I’m sure my cuteness will wear off. Apparently, knowing the truth of how the world works can have the side effect of making a person a prick.”

  This is new territory for me. I’ve never been this blatantly confrontational. Generally, slights are far more subtle, but I’ve never had to deal with anyone as hostile as Bram before. He shoots me an arrogant smile. It would be a great smile if it wasn’t being used to taunt me.

  Sophos tries to smooth over our clash. “Now, now. Can we please recall we are on the same team?”

  “Fine.” I take a breath and look back at Sophos. “Now what?”

  “We’ll continue with your sanctioned education and our plans tomorrow. You can’t make it a habit to be at work too long. That looks suspicious with the work ethic around here. For now, you’ll make yourself appear perfect, as you have done your whole life, only now you’ll have secrets to hide underneath it. Can you do that?”

  “Yes.”

  It looks like Millie’s instruction will come in handy in the real world after all. Having to use those lessons to mask myself from my closest confidants will be new, though. The little reprieve I ever have from who I must be in public will be gone. That perfect version of me will be the only version of me.

  Chapter Seven

  BRAM

  From the outside, Marshal Headquarters looks like any other city building with its bright, inviting glass façade. Underneath the offices are the cave-like lower levels where the marshals are kept. I pass the commissary and the underground passageway that connects to the train station before reaching the training level.

  Not being on the same schedule as the rest of the regiment gives me the benefit of having the training center to myself most of the time. I want to be an active contributor to the uprising, but what is there for me to do? Sophos’ tech agents work on breaking into the Establishment’s systems, the health department spies supply him with amnesia drugs, but Tori and I are fighters. We just have to wait for a fight. In the meantime, doing something physical is something to do—it’s as much of a release as I can get at this point.

  After I change, I wrap my hands and make my way to a punching bag. With each sting in my knuckles, some of my anxiety melts away. I’d break my wrists before I could unload all of it, though.

  The extravagant, rich food here. Jab-Right cross.

  My mom skipping meals to make sure there was enough for us to eat. Jab-Jab-Cross.

  Kaycians having more free time than they know what to do with. Jab-Cross-Left Hook.

  Mom working all hours of the day or night trying to scrape by. Jab-Cross-Hook-Cross.

  The Establishment removing everything that makes anyone a person, so they’ll do the dirty work. Jab-Cross-Left uppercut-Cross.

  The people I knew on Lawson whom I’ve seen now as shells of themselves. Jab-Right uppercut-Left hook.

  Sophos’ promises aren’t enough. His plans have to wait until countless moving pieces align correctly. It’s so slow. The Establishment could come crashing down fast enough with a few well-placed bullets at a council meeting. Even without succumbing to the extirpation drug, I’m trapped like the rest of the marshals. At least I have something to look forward to.

  I take some time at the shooting range before I leave. Gun skills will be more useful than punching. Fortunately, both release stress. I make it a game to cut a paper target in half by shooting holes across it in a perfect line. Some people romanticize autumn leaves drifting to the ground. I prefer the bottom half of my target separating and falling. Eventually, this will come to a fight, and then at least I’ll be useful. The risks involved at that point can’t be as bad as the waiting is right now.

  Showered and dressed, I make my way back to Sophos’ townhouse. The route takes me past the Establishment Center. Lights shine up from its base, illuminating it like a white flame rising up from the ground. The fountain in front of it is off for the winter, standing as a dry statue. The globe on the top of the center pillar glows dark blue with a single point of white light representing Kaycie. Not that the globe would look different with all eight islands lit, but the reminder that this city and its people are supposed to be the only ones to exist makes me cringe.

  ***

  The relief marshal leaves when I get to the townhouse. Unfortunately, any tension I released at the gym creeps back up on me when I see Serenity in the living room with Sophos. Because having to see you during the day isn’t enough?

  “Hello, Bram.”

  “What are you doing here?”

  “Bram,” Sophos says, “could you contain your hostility for once?”

  “This is contained. But my capacity to deal with her is limited to office hours, so I’ll be going downstairs.”

  “Actually,”—she comes over to me—“I came to see if I might speak to you. In private.”

  I press my fingers onto my eyebrows and heave out a breath. What the hell could Serenity Ward have to speak to me about?

  “I have some work to do before bed,” Sophos says, making his way to the stairs. “Goodnight, both of you.”

  Traitor. “Okay. What do you want?”

  “Shall we?” She gestures toward the living room.

  “No.”

  “All right, then.” She squares her shoulders, and it’s all I can do not to laugh as she tries to face me down. Even in her high heels, she’s a whole head shorter than me. “I can’t think of any way to verify anything Sophos is telling me. No way that wouldn’t implicate myself and both of you anyway. But I need to know that it’s true if I’m going to be a part of this.”

  “How do you expect me to prove it to you? It’s not like I can take you to one of the islands.”

  “No, I didn’t think we could do that. We can’t… right?”

  “No! We can’t take a train on an unsanctioned field trip. You’re the one who’s supposed to figure out the system to control them.”

  “Fine, but you’re really from one of the islands?”

  “Yes.”

  “Which one?”

  “Lawson.”

  “Are you only going to give me one-word answers?”

  “Yes.”

  She folds her arms across her chest. “I just need to make sure I’m not being tricked into becoming a terrorist or something.”

  “Oh, now you’re questioning things people tell you?”

  “I had to start sometime.” Serenity’s smirk drips snarkiness. “Now, please, if everything is true about the marshals, I do want to help.”

  Giving up on the idea of being rid of her quickly, I take a seat on the couch. She sits in an armchair, her standard, perfect posture never wavering. “Is it the stick up your ass that makes you sit so straight all the time?”

  Her face shows no sign of anger, just an unamused glare. She taps her fingers anxiously in her lap, though.

  “Isn’t every interaction with me—a marshal—proof that marshals aren’t what we’re supposed to be?”

  “Are you really a marshal?”

  “I didn’t get this as a fashion statement.” I pull up my sleeve to reveal the number tattooed on my forearm—my name, as far as the Establishment is concerned.

  “Perhaps you’re planted into the marshals as a ruse. I haven’t seen an example of before and after extirpation.”

  “You don’t want to. I went into selection with a friend I had grown up with, we were like brothers, now he doesn’t know who I am. It’s like he’s not in his own body anymore. He might as well be a picture of my friend walking around. They all die at fourteen, even if thei
r hearts keep pumping.”

  If I was lying to her, she wouldn’t be able to tell, but her shudder tells me that she’s decided to believe me. “Why do people let their children go like that?”

  “Sophos will explain it…” Her eyes go wide in a pleading look. Ugh, fine. “Each island thinks they are one of two islands, their own and Kaycie. They all know Kaycie as a land of plenty from which they get resources. Of course, it’s actually from the other islands, but anyway—being selected to go to Kaycie is supposed to be a great opportunity for a better life. Plus, if Kaycie needs labor to keep the resources coming back to the island, there isn’t much of a choice.”

  She squeezes her hands together like keeping them still can keep her from shattering. “Thank you for talking to me. I’ll get out of your way.”

  Before she reaches the door, I ask, “Do we need to worry about you turning us in?”

  “No, I think I might enjoy being a rebel.”

  ***

  Days march on in a routine of Sophos’ office work, training Serenity Ward, and waiting. Apparently, she does enjoy being a rebel. She keeps trying to find cracks to exploit and obsessing over how to gain access to the trains. Whether it’s purely to help our efforts or because she still wants to go see the islands for herself, I’m not entirely sure. But there’s something to be said for her enthusiasm. Sophos tried to pull ‘I told you so’ with me once, but I pointed out he also told me the others would work. Statistically, he was bound to pick a passable person at some point.

  Exploring the depths of the Establishment’s lies has brought on a hilarious suspicious streak in Serenity. Maybe she’s embarrassed by the questions she comes up with because she saves them for me rather than asking Sophos.

  “Are there brainwashed islanders preparing all of the food we order on-demand, or is that really automated?” she asks.

  “It’s automated,” I say.

  “Do we really have little robots that clean our homes overnight, or do brainwashed islanders come in and do it?”